Hope Tree

Living in Oklahoma, we experience extreme weather conditions - tornadoes, straight line winds, ice storms, heat, drought - even earthquakes! Like everyone, we clean up the messes, pick up the pieces, suffer through the heat, and deal with things the best we know how. In our backyard we have a small redbud three that has weathered just about every storm you can imagine. Twice the little tree has literally torn in two - with great branches hanging by a piece of bark, twisted and lying on the ground. After one such episode we almost cut it down. "No, please don't cut it down, yet!!" Spring rolled around, and, could it be? Yes! The little half tree had buds then leaves on it's remaining branches! Our little tree was alive and it didn't look horrible, maybe a little twisted and off center, but beautiful to me. Another winter, another ice storm - another crush of life and branches all over the ground. More pruning, more cutting, more life squashing. Lord, how much more can this little tree take?! Please, please don't let it die. Another cold winter, lots of snow, harsh cold - another spring, and - Oh my my goodness - lots of leaves on this little tree! Bent, bruised - torn - but beautiful. My little Hope Tree.

Life has it's share of storms too. Sometimes they come in waves, one right after the other, and we think how in the world are we going to make it through this? Sometimes they come crashing down on us, unexpected, harsh, almost unreal. Sometimes they are simply an undercurrent of sadness, things we can't resolve - issues that never seem to get better or go away, like a drought during a long hot summer. Life crushing, life sapping - Life. And, as I stand in front of my kitchen sink and look at our little mis-shapen tree I think - I can make it too. Losses don't have to destroy or define me but they can produce a kind of beauty in my life. I might be a little wiser, a little less self centered, and more humble in spite of being bruised and most definitely broken. Not who I was, but - beautiful. Jesus beautiful. A beauty that comes from deep inside fashioned by my heavenly Father, the one Who knows and understands and controls all of the events of my life. Who would have ever thought that bruised and broken could be beautiful? Thank you, God - and - thank you, little Hope Tree.

Psalm 51:17 -"The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God."
Isaiah 42:3 - "He will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle. He will bring justice to all who have been wronged."
Romans 5:3-4 - "We rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."

A Few Good Men

This year has seen the passing of some pretty incredible men in my life - my father in law, my voice teacher from college, and my uncle. When I say incredible - they truly were gifted, gracious, larger than life men who impacted my life in quite specific ways. I think we are always looking for a "few good men" to be our role models and leaders, and unfortunately finding them is kind of hard these days. When God brings one into our lives, what a gift.

I knew my father in law first as an administrator and teacher. He had been at Grace for 25 years when I first knew him as a college freshman. I knew he had several children, 7 to be exact, and one was my age. Carlon was a cut above everyone else - and I know why - he had a cut above dad. His first car, his prize and joy, was a Dodge Charger - and he took exceptional care of his prize. He and his dad enjoyed working on cars together. We were waiting for his dad one day after classes, something about the car, and I'll never forget the look on Carlon's face as he looked up and saw his dad walking towards us. It was pure admiration - I've never seen anything like it. I felt a little jealous - did he look at me that way sometimes too?! Did his eyes shine like that when he saw me coming? Probably not at that time - but - wow... wow... wow. That must be one great dad. And, I can attest to the fact that he was. What a blessing to be in a family loved by such a man.

My college voice teacher, Mr. Wiebe, was a musical inspiration like no one I had ever known. My first choice of colleges was not Grace, but God had much better plans for my life! In this small school where everyone knew everyone, I found myself in a warm, nurturing environment for musical growth. Along with that a desire to glorify God with music was drilled into every practice and performance. And passion!!! Mr. Wiebe couldn't complete a rehearsal without dripping with sweat, shedding a few tears, and working us hard. It had to be perfect - and we wanted to be! I memorized every facial expression, every move he made, every cue, every breath - I internalized him! He took a chance on this incoming freshman, giving me a solo in the Christmas performance of the Messiah. Really - ME? Singing "I Know that My Redeemer Liveth" with a full orchestra - it felt like an out of body experience. Had I gone to my first choice of colleges, I know that opportunity would never have been given to - me. He was direct and honest during voice lessons - but that just made me work harder. He had a beautiful bass voice. Mr. Wiebe was absolutely the best musician I had ever known. I've noticed, and so have others, that when I direct I move a LOT. And make lots of faces - expressions - is a nicer word. I feel like I go to a place deep inside, a passion, that only comes out at those times. Well - it's the inner Mr. Wiebe. I've channeled him, unknowingly by the way - but it's him you see in me. I could never change. He was simply the best.

My uncle, Buford Geddie, my Dad's second oldest brother, is probably the kindest person I have ever known. Really - the absolute kindest. He was a handsome, gifted man who loved people in a way I have rarely seen in my whole life. He had a big smile that broke across his face whenever he saw me, or anyone, and never left. I was always Bonnie Ann to my Texas relatives, and he would say when he would see me - every single time, without fail - (remember, Texas accent here) "Why Bonnie Ann! It is so good to see you darlin! How are you!?" And - he meant every word! Who means those words, really means them, most of the time? He owned I think at one time 13 pharmacies in Corpus Christi - and every customer felt like a personal friend. He loved and cared for his parents, called them "Mama" and "Daddy." He truly was a good son. I watched him. When I married, he loved my husband and eventually my children. At the age of 90, I believe he was still singing in the choir, helping out at his church, busy with activities at his retirement home. He took his daughters on an Alaskan cruise about a year ago. He was a good son, a good brother, a good husband, a good father, a good uncle, a good friend - a good man.

Now - I have raised men. I pray that they will also be good men - good husbands and fathers and brothers, and sons. I pray a lot for them, and always have. I pray that they too will leave this a world a better place than when they entered it. I pray that they will be larger than life men, who know what is important, who leave a legacy of godliness in ways that cannot be measured except by the blessings they leave in the lives of the people they touch. It's a big order, I know, but I have seen a few good men - and I know God can answer that prayer.

Memories and Everyday Miracles

When Mary and the boys were here in April while Aaron went to Haiti, we visited the Oklahoma City Zoo. Located inside the Children's Zoo is a aviary for Lorikeets. I'm not sure what they are - but they are colorful like parrots and maybe they have some parakeet in them as well. Anyway, as soon as we walked in we were surrounded, literally, by friendly Lorikeets looking for some nectar. We had a couple of little cups that were gone in a few minutes. I think that was the highlight of the day for me! As I was thinking about putting the pictures I took that day into a video, I added some from the Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha, and then began looking through pictures of the last four years and decided to add a few of them too! I couldn't include all that I wanted to, but here are a few snapshots of the last four years of being a Nana to Eli, Micah, and Isaac. Love you guys. You truly are wonders.

Choices

Urgency and Passion - two words that kept coming to my mind today as I was praying for my country. And mainly - where are they? The picture of the frog in the kettle of water slowing being cooked came to my mind. It's me. It's my evangelical Christian world - passionate about politics and causes, but not very passionate about Jesus. What would passion for Jesus look like in my world? "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will added unto you." What would happen if I really believed and acted upon that truth? I think the time has come to, as the saying goes, "fish or cut bait." I am so unencumbered. And, I think time is short. What will I say when I face my Lord and I have to give an accounting of how I lived my life? An old song I used to sing comes to my mind sometimes - "If I the King of heaven choose, if I the things of earth refuse, the best I gain - the worst I lose, the choice is mine. Because He gave His life for me, because of love on Calvary, I'll serve Him for eternity. The choice is mine." I hardly know where to begin - except to say to my Father once again - here are my eyes, my mouth, my hands, my feet, my gifts and talents, my time, my money - use me for Your Glory. Sing Your life song through me.

March 20 Blizzard - Welcome Spring 2010!

Well, all global warming jokes aside, it is the first time I can remember in almost 20 years of living in Oklahoma that we have had blizzard like conditions this far into March. Spring in Oklahoma. Usually by now the grass has been mowed a few times, spring perennials are in full bloom, flowers and gardens have been planted for the summer, and we've had to run the air conditioner for at least two weeks. Generally by now we've forgotten all about winter here in Oklahoma. Spring in Oklahoma means warm and windy, hot sometimes, and buggy. In Oklahoma spring kind of quickly fades into summer, but this spring eve we are bundled up inside, trying to decide if we should postpone or call off church tomorrow, watching the blowing snow accumulate into drifts across our yard. We understand tornadoes and violent thunder storms and straight line winds that tear down our fences and signs and Bradford Pear trees, but we are not quite so familiar with blizzards. It's an interesting phenomenon - and one we don't really mind - for now.

"May God Give You All Good Mercy"

Two weeks ago my father in law, Don Tschetter, left this earth for his heavenly home. It was unexpected and a shock. He was healthy - strong - vigorous. And, then, out of nowhere it seemed, he had contracted acute leukemia. His hospital stay was less than a week. As soon as we received the call from Carlon's sister who said, you better come now, we left for Omaha and had a day and half with our dad, who only two weeks earlier had been snowblowing! Graduation Day. What do you say to your family when you know you are most likely going to be leaving them for heaven? As his breathing became more labored, and my father in law knew he was preparing to meet his Savior, he said to all of us, "May God Give You All Good Mercy." And then, before he could no longer speak to us, he said, "I love you all." Less than an hour later, he was ushered into heaven. 19 of us huddled around his bed. For awhile we sang favorite hymns, some could only listen, and a son in law read a beautiful Scripture. We were all silently praying. Oh God, help us. Help Dad. Help Mom. His home going was quiet and peaceful. He was finally ready. We weren't. But, after 5 days of not being able to breathe due to his sudden illness, his body was worn out and the Lord gently took him home. Carlon's mom and sisters Cheryl and Connie had literally been with him round the clock since he had been admitted to the hospital. If love could heal, he would have been sent home from the hospital the next day. Before he passed from this life to the next, all seven children and almost every spouse, and several of the grandchildren were able to see him and speak to him, and he to us. The emptiness, the cold hard reality that he is not coming home, the homesickness for him - all are part of the fact that life on this earth does have a beginning as well as an ending. We, I, don't like to think about that ending very much.

As the children faced having to plan both a graveside and a memorial service, the beautiful job he and mom had done in raising these seven children showed itself once again. They sat around the kitchen table for hours crying and laughing as they remembered their beloved dad. As they talked they wondered could any of them actually speak? Cryers, all of them, the answer seemed to be no, we couldn't do that. But, the three boys who have done many memorial services as pastors began to think that yes, maybe they could - and who better to speak on behalf of their dad than his children? So, they did, and the service was truly a celebration of a life lived to the very end to the glory of God. At the graveside, as Carlon led us in prayer and read Scripture, his last words before we left were "Let the celebration begin!" And, without prompting or thought everyone said a hearty "AMEN!" Because, even though we grieve we don't grieve as those who have no hope. We know he is with the Lord, Who most definitely and without a doubt, said "Well done, good and faithful servant. Welcome home."

What do you learn from a life well lived? Well, plenty. For 39 years I knew Carlon's dad, first as a teacher and then a father in law. So - I've seen him in almost every situation that life offers, both heartbreaking and happy, and yes, he modeled what it looked like to be a servant of the living God. He showed me what it means to love unconditionally. As a new daughter in law I always felt welcomed and loved. A man of few words, dad showed his love through kindness and, as my daughter has described, twinkling eyes. He was compassionate and caring. I don't think I ever heard him say a negative thing about another person or institution. Even as Carlon was joking with him in the hospital about great men of the faith who trail blazed different theological paths, his dad said as best he could, "All of them good men." He was a servant to his wife. And she absolutely adored him. How many men draw their wives baths before going to bed? Or wash towels and have them folded and ready for the next day? He was a servant to everyone! He had a building named after him at Grace University, he had received an honorary doctorate from Grace seminary and yet, on any given Saturday he could be found cleaning the carpets at his church, Community Bible. He was a man of prayer. I know this because I see the results - seven children living for the Lord and raising homes centered around Christ. He was faithful in every area of his life. Every thing was carefully tended, watched over, taken care of. As Carlon readied things for his mom before returning home, he had the joy of being able to see just how well Dad had prepared for this chapter of life. Even the school, Grace University, where dad served for 49 years is having a hard time saying goodbye. For now, they want to leave his office there as it is. His was a life well lived.

So, now, we are left to carry on. Will we leave a legacy of godliness? Will we take the baton and carry it faithfully on this leg of the race? That is my prayer.

Tears

We never know what a day will hold or when life will take an unexpected turn, but that has happened this week with the word that Carlon's dad has been diagnosed with acute leukemia. We were shocked by this because even at 83 he looks and acts like a man much younger, and has been very healthy. Two weeks ago Carlon was up in Omaha for the weekend, and his dad was out snow blowing, again, a part of the country that hasn't seen dry ground since October! Energetic, healthy, strong, kind, loving, compassionate, caring, wise, gentle, able, the husband every wife would want to have, the father every child should have, a man who has patterned himself after the words of Scripture, who loves the Lord with all of his heart, who has lived a life completely sold out to Christ and is by far the most incredible man I have ever known. Lord - we need him, he is everyone's rock - we can't say good bye to him - not yet. Oh yes - and prayer warrior, in the very truest sense of the word. You have blessed our family and all of our families through this godly man. Quiet strength, quiet love, quiet trust. Pour your blessings out on him, minister to his soul as only You can, Father. Sing over him, and if it would be Your will Great Physician, please heal him.