Memories and Everyday Miracles

When Mary and the boys were here in April while Aaron went to Haiti, we visited the Oklahoma City Zoo. Located inside the Children's Zoo is a aviary for Lorikeets. I'm not sure what they are - but they are colorful like parrots and maybe they have some parakeet in them as well. Anyway, as soon as we walked in we were surrounded, literally, by friendly Lorikeets looking for some nectar. We had a couple of little cups that were gone in a few minutes. I think that was the highlight of the day for me! As I was thinking about putting the pictures I took that day into a video, I added some from the Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha, and then began looking through pictures of the last four years and decided to add a few of them too! I couldn't include all that I wanted to, but here are a few snapshots of the last four years of being a Nana to Eli, Micah, and Isaac. Love you guys. You truly are wonders.

Choices

Urgency and Passion - two words that kept coming to my mind today as I was praying for my country. And mainly - where are they? The picture of the frog in the kettle of water slowing being cooked came to my mind. It's me. It's my evangelical Christian world - passionate about politics and causes, but not very passionate about Jesus. What would passion for Jesus look like in my world? "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will added unto you." What would happen if I really believed and acted upon that truth? I think the time has come to, as the saying goes, "fish or cut bait." I am so unencumbered. And, I think time is short. What will I say when I face my Lord and I have to give an accounting of how I lived my life? An old song I used to sing comes to my mind sometimes - "If I the King of heaven choose, if I the things of earth refuse, the best I gain - the worst I lose, the choice is mine. Because He gave His life for me, because of love on Calvary, I'll serve Him for eternity. The choice is mine." I hardly know where to begin - except to say to my Father once again - here are my eyes, my mouth, my hands, my feet, my gifts and talents, my time, my money - use me for Your Glory. Sing Your life song through me.

March 20 Blizzard - Welcome Spring 2010!

Well, all global warming jokes aside, it is the first time I can remember in almost 20 years of living in Oklahoma that we have had blizzard like conditions this far into March. Spring in Oklahoma. Usually by now the grass has been mowed a few times, spring perennials are in full bloom, flowers and gardens have been planted for the summer, and we've had to run the air conditioner for at least two weeks. Generally by now we've forgotten all about winter here in Oklahoma. Spring in Oklahoma means warm and windy, hot sometimes, and buggy. In Oklahoma spring kind of quickly fades into summer, but this spring eve we are bundled up inside, trying to decide if we should postpone or call off church tomorrow, watching the blowing snow accumulate into drifts across our yard. We understand tornadoes and violent thunder storms and straight line winds that tear down our fences and signs and Bradford Pear trees, but we are not quite so familiar with blizzards. It's an interesting phenomenon - and one we don't really mind - for now.

"May God Give You All Good Mercy"

Two weeks ago my father in law, Don Tschetter, left this earth for his heavenly home. It was unexpected and a shock. He was healthy - strong - vigorous. And, then, out of nowhere it seemed, he had contracted acute leukemia. His hospital stay was less than a week. As soon as we received the call from Carlon's sister who said, you better come now, we left for Omaha and had a day and half with our dad, who only two weeks earlier had been snowblowing! Graduation Day. What do you say to your family when you know you are most likely going to be leaving them for heaven? As his breathing became more labored, and my father in law knew he was preparing to meet his Savior, he said to all of us, "May God Give You All Good Mercy." And then, before he could no longer speak to us, he said, "I love you all." Less than an hour later, he was ushered into heaven. 19 of us huddled around his bed. For awhile we sang favorite hymns, some could only listen, and a son in law read a beautiful Scripture. We were all silently praying. Oh God, help us. Help Dad. Help Mom. His home going was quiet and peaceful. He was finally ready. We weren't. But, after 5 days of not being able to breathe due to his sudden illness, his body was worn out and the Lord gently took him home. Carlon's mom and sisters Cheryl and Connie had literally been with him round the clock since he had been admitted to the hospital. If love could heal, he would have been sent home from the hospital the next day. Before he passed from this life to the next, all seven children and almost every spouse, and several of the grandchildren were able to see him and speak to him, and he to us. The emptiness, the cold hard reality that he is not coming home, the homesickness for him - all are part of the fact that life on this earth does have a beginning as well as an ending. We, I, don't like to think about that ending very much.

As the children faced having to plan both a graveside and a memorial service, the beautiful job he and mom had done in raising these seven children showed itself once again. They sat around the kitchen table for hours crying and laughing as they remembered their beloved dad. As they talked they wondered could any of them actually speak? Cryers, all of them, the answer seemed to be no, we couldn't do that. But, the three boys who have done many memorial services as pastors began to think that yes, maybe they could - and who better to speak on behalf of their dad than his children? So, they did, and the service was truly a celebration of a life lived to the very end to the glory of God. At the graveside, as Carlon led us in prayer and read Scripture, his last words before we left were "Let the celebration begin!" And, without prompting or thought everyone said a hearty "AMEN!" Because, even though we grieve we don't grieve as those who have no hope. We know he is with the Lord, Who most definitely and without a doubt, said "Well done, good and faithful servant. Welcome home."

What do you learn from a life well lived? Well, plenty. For 39 years I knew Carlon's dad, first as a teacher and then a father in law. So - I've seen him in almost every situation that life offers, both heartbreaking and happy, and yes, he modeled what it looked like to be a servant of the living God. He showed me what it means to love unconditionally. As a new daughter in law I always felt welcomed and loved. A man of few words, dad showed his love through kindness and, as my daughter has described, twinkling eyes. He was compassionate and caring. I don't think I ever heard him say a negative thing about another person or institution. Even as Carlon was joking with him in the hospital about great men of the faith who trail blazed different theological paths, his dad said as best he could, "All of them good men." He was a servant to his wife. And she absolutely adored him. How many men draw their wives baths before going to bed? Or wash towels and have them folded and ready for the next day? He was a servant to everyone! He had a building named after him at Grace University, he had received an honorary doctorate from Grace seminary and yet, on any given Saturday he could be found cleaning the carpets at his church, Community Bible. He was a man of prayer. I know this because I see the results - seven children living for the Lord and raising homes centered around Christ. He was faithful in every area of his life. Every thing was carefully tended, watched over, taken care of. As Carlon readied things for his mom before returning home, he had the joy of being able to see just how well Dad had prepared for this chapter of life. Even the school, Grace University, where dad served for 49 years is having a hard time saying goodbye. For now, they want to leave his office there as it is. His was a life well lived.

So, now, we are left to carry on. Will we leave a legacy of godliness? Will we take the baton and carry it faithfully on this leg of the race? That is my prayer.

Tears

We never know what a day will hold or when life will take an unexpected turn, but that has happened this week with the word that Carlon's dad has been diagnosed with acute leukemia. We were shocked by this because even at 83 he looks and acts like a man much younger, and has been very healthy. Two weeks ago Carlon was up in Omaha for the weekend, and his dad was out snow blowing, again, a part of the country that hasn't seen dry ground since October! Energetic, healthy, strong, kind, loving, compassionate, caring, wise, gentle, able, the husband every wife would want to have, the father every child should have, a man who has patterned himself after the words of Scripture, who loves the Lord with all of his heart, who has lived a life completely sold out to Christ and is by far the most incredible man I have ever known. Lord - we need him, he is everyone's rock - we can't say good bye to him - not yet. Oh yes - and prayer warrior, in the very truest sense of the word. You have blessed our family and all of our families through this godly man. Quiet strength, quiet love, quiet trust. Pour your blessings out on him, minister to his soul as only You can, Father. Sing over him, and if it would be Your will Great Physician, please heal him.

Never say "Never"

This weekend I had the opportunity to something I never thought I would ever do - in fact I said at one point I would never do that, because I didn't think that I could do it! I directed a regional children's choir called Circle the State With Song. Circle the State is a choral festival held all over the state of Oklahoma according to regions for students in 4th-8th grade. I first became involved in CtSwS about 14 years ago while I was teaching K-5 music at SWCS. I would encourage my 5th grade students to participate each year. In my music program, it became one of the privileges of being a 5th grader, plus, those who attended Circle the State could try out for the All State Children's Choir. I would also take some of the music from Circle the State and use it for my 5th grade Spring contest at Tri-State in Enid and our Spring choral program. We worked so hard. Students would give up lunch hours to practice for Circle the State and try out for All State. The music was always very challenging and beautiful, introducing me and the children to folk songs from around the world, sacred music, and contemporary arrangements. By the end of the year we had learned how to sing the songs well, with all the artistry a small school choir could muster. Each year my 5th graders would be so proud of their accomplishments and I'd always hear things from them as they moved on like, "We were the best choir ever, right Mrs. Tschetter?" I remember once as we were leaving a CtSwS festival, one of my parents said to me, "You could do that!" meaning direct the regional choir. I thought in my heart - "That is very nice of you, but, no I could never do that in a million years - and I am happy being a participant. That would be impossible. Nope not me. Ever."

You see, CtSwS was my mentor. I would sit in the rehearsals in awe of every director and what they did. I deeply respected the other teachers who I met and thought they must be the best teachers in the world. I wanted to be like them! They worked so hard. When students would go to All State it was like being given a trip to Disney Land, as far as I was concerned! Sitting in those rehearsals and watching those directors was beyond anything I could have ever imagined. The sound, the beauty, the amazement. I wrote down everything I could, tried to take in every word - wishing I could have the knowledge it took to create something so exquisite.

Being able to be a director this year wasn't necessarily a dream come true (I was scared to death) - but it gave me a chance to give back to those who have done so much for me over the years. And, it was an experience I will always, always treasure. Don't ever think Never, and don't ever say Never. You just never know. Our dreams don't begin to touch the Lord's dreams for us - and, we never know what new life song He will bring our way. Cantate Deo! Sing Alleluia!

Who Am I?

It is truly a question of gigantic total self absorbed proportions, but I have been asking myself often these days, who am I? Almost from the beginning of my life (in terms of what I can remember!) I have defined myself by what I have done or who I belonged to. With the passing of time, and as I travel the loop that is taking me through the Autumn of my life, belonging and doing don't seem to be so relevant anymore. Maybe that's because as we get older, life changes - so much. I'm trying to figure out exactly where I fit in and what kind of a difference I am supposed to be making and where? It was much easier when those roles were well defined by childhood, motherhood, teacher-hood, and even in terms of friendships. I like it when life is well defined! Maybe one of the benefits of age and wisdom is the ability to make a difference when the ducks aren't all in a row, the lines are not all that clear, when things get a bit fuzzy; when children grow up, parents age, jobs and friends change. It's definitely a walk of faith. But, the things that still bring exquisite joy to my heart are the same:

Marriage - Falling asleep on the couch with my husband after dinner out and a movie at home. I like, after all these years, pounds, and wrinkles, that we are still friends, and he still finds me beautiful.

Grandparenting - Seeing my grandbabies. Period.

Random - One of my former Kindermusik students, passing me in the hallway at church on his way to his 1st grade class, gave me a big smile and wave and said "I still miss you!" Wow - I needed that verbal hug. And, I miss him too.

Investments - Two former students who made the high school all state choir are in Tulsa this weekend (wish I was there too) and have written me short notes of pure joy. I know exactly how they feel and why. They would love for me to be there. I love that they would love for me to be there. I wish, how I wish, I could be there.

My children - My brother sent me a video he took of my youngest son singing Jesus Loves Me when he was two. He's twenty two now. But, my mother's heart hasn't changed a bit. He's every bit that innocent two year old to me - still.

My Savior - Maybe the Lord wants to delight my heart with new things. Maybe, He's waiting for me to let go of old things. Maybe, it's time to grow up and see the world around me in a new light. Maybe, it's not all about me. Maybe it's time to listen - and hear a new song.

Mark singing Jesus Loves Me - July 3, 1989